samedi, mars 25, 2006

"Feminine Beauty is a load of pornographic crap"

I was reading I Blame The Patriarchy and came across the blog, "Hot Mama".

The writer found an interesting blog called, Morphing into Mama (MIM). The MIM discusses how she thinks its incorrect to assume that she should feel love for her infant - which is a liberating idea for some women, but I'm not even going to get into this right now - and yet she also discusses how she feels it is her duty to keep her self looking good for her husband...otherwise he could say it was, "false advertising" before they were married. Her husband, no I'm sorry - she refers to him just as "husband" - doesn't want her to cut her hair or gain weight. God forbid a woman's figure change after carrying around another human being inside of her.

OK - now 'Patriarchy's' writer went on to say that 'feminine beauty is a load of pornographic crap.' I like this. I don't even know where to begin describing why I like this statement.

On a somewhat related note...The other night I was in Dominicks buying some beer and snacks with my boyfriend and our friend. We passed by the 'best selling' beauty magazines adorning the racks near the register (how much more obvious could it be that they're SELLING to us the products on and within those magazines as they're surrounded by impulse buys). Now, I hate going to the register. Every time I do I see these magazines encircling me in brainwashing, disturbing madness.

The proof of the stupidy: So I made some comment on how Oprah looked so thin (first mistake) - I was simply poking fun on the constant topic of Oprah's fluctuating weight - just be a full figured woman Oprah, please stop giving in. And our friend goes, "I'm sure she's airbrushed." Ok - so this is a constructive comment. Good, good...And then, I mentioned how I'm not a fan of Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives is good enough reason why) and he said, "but she's hot."

Just kill me. If I here one more person refer to anyone as HOT ever again...

OK - So I took a deep breath and muttered some of my disgust for this comment, but it was the guys birthday, so I let it go.

Everyone seems to think that its OK how we think. That it is OK that our society praises unhealthy, fake, made-up ideal images (feminine beauty). Friend, Oprah's airbrushed, and this 'hot' Eva Longoria is not? Where is your logic? Do you actually believe that Eva Longoria is hot? Or is it that you believe that picture on the cover of that specific magazine is hot? If you married Ms. Longoria, then you would probably expect her to keep her polished coiffeured hair and skinny figure, right? Because I wouldn't believe you if you said otherwise. (Sorry friend, this isn't all about you - you just gave me an example).

This blatent obliviousness occurs everyday by the masses.

And the worst part is that I'm already tired of explaining to some people why their thinking is harmful. Why their way of believing the media and this patriarchies obsession with superficiality leads to destruction.

It was my boyfriends own comments regarding Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton that really made me hate the word 'hot' and opened my eyes even wider to the absolute...disgustingness (is that a word) of what men find attractive. If 'good' men find these girls 'hot', then how are little girls going to feel? Little girls who are trained in a society that upholds the belief that women should do their best to keep the men happy, that men rule, that men decide what's attractive. They're going to grow up thinking they should look like (should I add - dress and act like) Lindsay Lohan and if they don't, they're not pretty enough.

But its the women's fault, right? Women are supposed to make up their own minds - we should be who we are and not worry about what men want? Can you really blame us for wanting to be found attractive by someone when that's what we're told is important? Or its the woman's fault for not listening to men when they say, "No, really...I want a girl with curves." What that means is they want Salma Hayek or Jessica Simpson. A size two with large breasts, a tiny waist line and hips (the infamous hour glass)...

Or guys will say, "We just like women. We wanna have sex with everything." Sure guys, that's why you said that the airbrushing on Oprah isn't enough to make her hot? That a strong, intelligent, curvy, beautiful woman cannot be 'hot' next to a tiny, tan woman who portrays a slut on a sexist tv show?

C'mon, Men...Out with it: What say you?


Blogger Goose said...

As far as I'm concerned, if a man doesn't think a girl looks just as "hot" in sweatpants without makeup as she does all "dolled up" (and I purposely use the word "doll" because that's what society is asking young women to be), then he has no idea what beauty truly is. In other words, he operates with the idea of superficial beauty to tell him what is "hot" or not.

There are so many things that tell men that it's ok to use the "male gaze" day in and day out: media, magazines, poor role models...but people just say it's "men being men."

There's a whole lot wrong with what society tells us to believe versus what we should believe, but people are too lazy (or stupid) to understand or admit it. Luckily, I am willing to admit it, which is why I'm so lucky to have a great girlfriend.

Great article, btw.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonyme said...

ok...yes. this is part of the same conversation i was having with caleb and joel (as referenced in another comment).

the thing about it is that for women like us, it's not the sexist pigs that make us feel "not good enough" or not "hott" (let's use two t's for the emphasis here) enough. it's the guys that we respect. we value their opinions, we read the same books, we like the same movies, we love the same bands, and we believe in the same causes. unfortunate as it is, for women like us, i think it's these men that cause us to feel that way. because mean to or not, these guys are still buying into this standard of "hott" and these are the men (whether intentional or not) who are subconsciously getting into our psyche, no? because obviously we've already dismissed the pigs opinions outright.

12:31 AM  

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